how do you scroll past this.
One of those nights
sleepless night… surrounded by nothing but all my imperfections.
Toooo ugly
Tooooo fat
Tooo everything.. or so i’ve been told
not even good enough to get a FRIEND prom date… what have I become?
..I’m tired of it… i’m tired of me… i’m tired of life….
i’ll never.. EVER be the person I want to be… and that fucking sucks…
i’ve lost weight the easy way… bulemia.. which turned into hell.. I never want to go back.. and I promised I never would.. but sometimes it seems as though it’d be so easy to get back to that dark place
I’ve eased my pain the easy way…cutting… which also, turned into hell… sometimes… I think..maybe it wasn’t hell… maybe.. that’s just what happy feels like.. and i’m just so.. unhappy.. that being anything other than unhappy.. is hell.. because i’m just so god damn lost…
I need someone to find me and bring me back home…
I thought I was home.. turned out.. I was totally wrong.. I’m more lost than ever before… I have mastered the fake smile.. the fake laugh.. hell.. sometimes I even think i’m being serious…
but then.. it all goes away.. And I remember that I am still me.. nothing to be happy about…
Sometimes the only way I can keep myself from harming myself is listening to music… and not just any music.. but music from Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus (yeah.. don’t judge) … I feel as though they are the only people that understand me… yet.. they don’t even know I exist… It just make sense to me
Well.. I’m sure no one is even really reading this.. and if they are.. they probably don’t care… i’m used to that… Welcome to my life
